healing sure ain't linear

i dreamed of my ex last night.

dreamed that they wrote me an email, saying that they found a way for us to deal with our issues and communicate better next time.

basically asking to try again and do everything differently the second time round.

it was a typically stupid and random dream. like sure they gonna send an email like that, being all enlightened lmao /s

but what it did was bring back a lot of feels. it's strange. i haven't felt all that in the past days. and today.. my mind is spinning with 'what ifs' and replays of our last conversations, i feel all the anger, all the hurt.

i feel sick.

what am trying to say. hang in there y'all.