How to stop devaluing people?

Okay, so, I have been officially diagnosed with adhd, gad and c-ptsd, and I’m right now in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd. Besides that, my therapist suspects that something else might be at play too, wether it’s bipolar type ii or depression is not sure. But whatever, that’s a bit about me. But my question is, how do I stop devaluing people? It’s making it really hard for me to have a relationship with anybody, even my own mother. I don’t know why, but sometimes I just idolise certain people, they’re the greatest thing to have ever existed to me. They’re my top priority and I yearn for their acceptance, as if I simply cannot live without it. But then they do something or say something or even do something I hadn’t “planned” for and I go ballistic. In a split of a second I go from absolute admiration to genuinely wanting them to die. Sometimes it takes me a few hours to calm down and stop devaluing them I guess, but sometimes it takes a week or two. Genuinely, how do I stop doing this? I taught myself from a young age to not rage at people outside of my family, so when I devalue someone that’s not part of my family, I just say to them the cruelest words I can think of in that moment and cut all contact with them. When I devalue someone inside of my family, I start getting incredibly angry and shout at them, I tell them once again the cruelest words I can think of and sometimes I even try to physically hurt them by throwing stuff at them. I then continue by trying my best to make their life’s as sour as possible, until I calm down and come back to my senses of course. So yea, how do I stop this? How do I stop ruining friendships, relationships etc.

English isn’t my first language, so my apologies for grammar mistakes, etc.