Femininity and demurity being treated as weak boggles me.

I’m perfectly fine if people aren’t a fan of feminine and demure characters, we all have different tastes— good and dandy right? But the one thing that always boggles me is how people will go on a thesis on this particular female character being bad because they’re… feminine? And not the strong female archetype you see in action movies?

To reiterate again, I’m perfectly fine if it’s not people’s cup of tea but at the same time it just comes across as degrading and downplaying the femininity of women, that they have to adhere to this toxic mindset of “be a badass to be a good female character.” It’s just saddening that mindset just distorted people’s views on what makes an empowering female character.

The most egregious examples I can think of is Cinderella and Snow White (Disney), Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket) and Miyo (My Happy Marriage). I’m not sure if Miyo and Tohru have it as bad as the former two, but that’s besides the point.

The most common trait all of these four female characters have is their kindness and femininity in the face of their personal adversities. They all lived in abusive households (Cinderella, Snow White and Miyo with their toxic and cruel families, Tohru with her cruel relatives) and have their fair share of traumatic moments that frankly shouldn’t be compared (They lost people close of them). They could’ve been vengeful, cold or heartless— but no. They still chose to be kind, gentle and hopeful. Their perseverance and femininity is what makes them empowering characters. And yet, people downplay those same traits just because they’re not showing the “strong female character” archetype like they expected, even going so far as to downplay their traumas from their abuse. I mean, what did you expect? Did you really expect them to just leave the household? It’s far more complicated than that.

Moreover, it also sends a concerning and bad message to some girls out there that “girly = weak.” Like no. To be empowering, it doesn’t always have to be the conventional “badass female character” archetype, we have our own way of being empowering, and femininity and kindness is one of those things. They can co exist as a matter of fact, with Katara from ATLA being a good example; she’s nurturing, compassionate and kind but she is a hardworking water-bender who tremendously grows stronger with her powers as the series goes on.

Thanks for my Ted talk.