I want someone in my life

I have been genuinely trying to put myself out there and make an effort to talk to people. I even started going to the gym to get in better shape and work on improving myself overall. It’s been a slow process, but I’m trying to fix all the aspects of myself that I feel are flawed. I believe that the more I interact with people, the better I will become at holding conversations. However, it hasn’t really worked out yet. I want to feel loved and appreciated. I want someone in my life! What do I do?

I will admit I’m not the best at holding conversations initially, but once I get to know someone, I can open up more. I want people to stick around because they genuinely want to, not out of pity. I crave genuine human interaction, not just someone texting me because they need something from me. The only time someone messages me is if they need something. Otherwise, I’m always the one initiating the conversation. I just want to know what it’s like to be someone’s first choice, to be chosen first for once.

I think my loneliness has affected my expectations. Since I don’t have anyone, I crave attention and interaction, which leads me to expect that people should drop everything and talk to me whenever I want. I know this is unhealthy, and I shouldn’t expect it, but I just want to feel wanted. I want to be thought of first, or at the very least, not as an afterthought. It gets lonely, and I feel lost and confused.

I don’t want to be that guy who's always horny or constantly complaining, but I do have needs, and those needs aren’t being satisfied. I feel frustrated. I don’t want to be stuck on porn or smut. I crave human interaction. I want someone I can actually talk to and have a genuine conversation with. I crave emotional warmth and a little bit of intimacy. I’m looking for someone who’s down to have a conversation with me, and if we hit it off, maybe we can take things further. We can talk about anything—whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with. If it goes well and you’re comfortable, we can take things ahead. If not, at least I’ll have someone to talk to. Maybe we can be friends. I’m hoping to hear from at least one person.

I just wanna have a friends-with-benefits deal, but I want to focus on the "friends" part equally as much as the "benefits" part. I want us to talk and get to know each other, and if we hit it off, we can move to the benefits part. If we don’t, at least I’ll have made a new friend. I’ve put myself out there and made it clear what I want, but I’m not getting any results. I feel sexually frustrated, and that, along with other problems in my life, is really messing with my mental health. You guys will probably suggest I seek a therapist, but I believe that right now, more than a therapist, I just need some form of human interaction. I will seek therapy eventually, but not yet. Right now, I need something else. Please help me out—I could really use some support.

I know I probably come off as desperate, but I don’t know how to deal with these feelings. I want someone who's down to sext, and if you're comfortable, maybe send pictures. My main goal will be to ensure you have a good time and are satisfied, focusing strongly on your pleasure. I’m interested in exploring fantasies and creating a positive experience through sexting and genuine conversations. I just want to have a good overall experience. I’ll try my best to be a good friend, to listen to whatever you have to say. I will do my best not to be selfish or self-absorbed, and I will be there for you when you need me.

I’m scared of ending up alone, and that fear keeps me up at night. I’m not sure what I want exactly, but I don’t want to be alone. Sometimes, I feel like I have so much love and affection to give, but no one to give it to. I just want someone to be there for me, and I promise I’ll be there for them. I need someone to talk to, someone who genuinely cares. I don’t want to just talk to people out of loneliness; I want to build something meaningful.

At the same time, I realize I’m not ready for a serious relationship. I have my flaws—I'm irresponsible and emotionally unstable—and if I were to get into a relationship right now, it could turn toxic. I don’t want my partner to suffer because of my issues, so I’ve decided that I’ll only pursue a relationship after I’ve made some decent progress in bettering myself. But that doesn’t mean I don’t crave human connection. Maybe a friends-with-benefits arrangement is best for now, something where we can focus on the friendship just as much as the benefits.

It’s hard, though. I don’t want to be the guy who’s always complaining or constantly seeking attention, but I do have needs, both emotional and physical, and they’re not being met. I’m sexually frustrated, and I don’t want to be stuck on porn or smut. I want someone I can have genuine conversations with, and maybe even explore fantasies with, if they’re comfortable. I need something real, some sort of connection, not just a temporary fix.

I think human interaction would do wonders for my mental health right now. I know therapy is important, and I do plan to seek it, but right now, more than a therapist, I need someone I can talk to. I'm 21 and I've never been on a date. Haven't even had my first kiss. I really want to experience what it's like! 😭 I know things like these take time but I'm tired of waiting around. Also it's not like I haven't put myself out there. I have. I talk to people. However the women I fall for are either not interested in me or emotionally unavailable for me. I just really want to experience what it's like. I'm willing to put in the effort. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I just want someone in my life!