Discussing age-inappropriate attractions with a therapist

I’m a 30-year old male who since I was about a teen has experienced same-sex attractions. I’ve identified either as gay, bi or  “I don’t really know” and have only in the past few years opened up about my sexuality to people who know me (i.e., coming out as gay or bi). I’ve never had sex or relationships with women, but have had both with men.

One recurring experience throughout my life has been attraction to men or boys that are younger than me. Never prepubertal children, but anywhere from early-mid to late teens, though I’d say boys in their mid-to-late teens and early 20’s are the ones I’ve consistently found myself most sexually attracted to. When I was younger I figured that I’d age out of it, but I never really have. 

I can also be attracted to young adult men or men of similar age as me, but when it comes to what I find most attractive sexually, it’s usually boys in their mid-to-late teens that I’ve found most beautiful. I’d say it’s purely the looks part, I am not into any kind of power fantasy. 

I’d like to also point out that I haven’t done anything illegal or even for that matter immoral; I’ve never even considered approaching someone who is 10-15 years younger than me for sexual purposes. My attractions are not a fixation, it does not consist of urges that I can’t resist acting on. I’d also point out that in my country the legal age is 15, so it’s a bit different from parts of US. Obviously I don’t see myself having a relationship with a teenager or even a young adult because of differences in maturity, not to mention other obvious concerns for abuse.

These attractions make me feel bad about myself. I think it has made it extremely difficult for me to even accept any attraction to adult men. It’s sort of tainted my sexuality, so that there is a layer of shame over it all. It’s not only that I would be gay, but that my attractions would be mostly focused on younger men and boys. I think it has also made it difficult for me in relationships as I have never been as attracted to my partner as they have been to me. It feels like a dark, dirty secret which I can never get rid of. 

I’ve been to therapy before and never even considered bringing this up. I want to attend therapy again, not only because of this, but because of a host of other issues. I don’t want to lead with this issue, but I also don’t want to avoid bringing it up. I also don’t know to which extent I should pick a therapist based on this issue alone. 

I really don’t know how I would bring this up, and I would be happy to hear from someone who has done similar things. Any advice would be appreciated. If you have experience of bringing up any difficult subject with your therapist, I would like to hear about it.