My doctors thinks I may have bipolar of Adhd

My mood swings are rock bottom. I get focused on one thing then the next I am a mess. Feeling worthless, hopeless, meaningless and what not. I feel I have two sides. The side which is happy and thinks i can always live happily ever after and don’t want any help or medication and then there is that dark me. The fucked up me who doesn’t focus on anything and everything feels a burden and the responsibilities make me go into a deep anxious state and make me feel this life is not worth living and I fed up from life. I can’t control that, i start to think about death that If it comes to me it would be an eternal peace. Every 2nd day I feel this way and some days are so good that i feel i am in heaven. I feel The breeze, the quitness, the smell. Please help guys