Flings arent for me.

Alright I will air out my dirty laundry and I am completely ready for backlash with this.

I HATE HOOKUPS, CASUAL, OR ANY SHORT TERM RELATIONSHIP.

It took me one time and one time only to realize I hated it. So boom, met a guy from hinge. He was visiting the city and at the time I had no idea what casual was. I was fresh out of a relationship and desperate at the time, so I decided to entertain casual. I had no idea what it meant but I thought whats the worse that could happen?

We met up, we went on a date. Things were going well and so he asked to sleep with me. So I did and then once he left I barely heard from him. I thought he was busy so it didnt bother me much, how naive was I. He came back to visit again and at the time I was on my period. His entire demeanor changed from this sweet and gentle person to extremely vindictive and mean.

He didnt want to touch or look at me. We barely spoke and the entire time he kept begging for us to just 'take the pad off and put a towel down' or for me to use my mouth. As we laid in my bed I came to the realization that he only seen me as a piece of meat. He didnt treat me with respect. He didnt even ask me if I was okay despite me bleeding and being in pain. He only cared about himself.

From that day on, I have never engaged in another casual relationship or anything short term. I have been messed up from that connection for awhile and I have been against giving my body away ever since despite this being 3 going on 4 years ago. I refuse to do anything or even entertain anyone when I am healing to avoid falling into that trap again.

I havent been able to sleep with anyone since in fear of falling into that trap. I find it so difficult to do such an intimate thing and then be dropped like a hot potato, which has happened prior to this story. I consider myself demisexual since now I need an emotional bond with folks before the drawls come off.