It is one of those nights....

Today, I will tell you my life story I haven’t shared with anyone (as I am kind of an introvert with no friends to share it with). Last October, I broke up with the girl I had been in a relationship with for the past 14 years. I started dating a girl from Dimapur because I like people from the Northeast—they are different from others in a way I admire. She was of-course beautiful as compared to me. Our relationship began when I shared a playlist with her, and she liked the music from bands like Coldplay and Radiohead.

I was always good at studies, especially in math and coding. I excelled in those subjects and went to one of the most prestigious colleges in India (NSIT, now NSUT). I secured a good on-campus placement and even received an offer from Epic Systems to join their USA office. However, I didn’t proceed with it because I didn’t want to leave her, as long-distance relationships rarely work out.

I worked for a couple of years and proposed to her in 2018, but she didn’t want to get married at that time. She wanted to succeed in her life and achieve something meaningful. Her dream was to become a doctor, so I respected her decision and supported her in every possible way—mentally and financially. I paid for her tuition, which was a significant amount for me, exhausting all my savings. Over the years, I also bought her a few things, like an iPhone, mac. I thought it would be an honor for me to have a wife who is a doctor. I even once paid for her cousin’s brain surgery, which cost me 5 lakhs.

Last year, she completed her MBBS and started ghosting me. Her behavior became weird, and we barely talked—maybe 5 minutes a week. We used to explore new food places every month, but during that time, our interactions became minimal. I thought she might just be busy, as being a doctor is not an easy job. However, after a couple of months, during my birthday month, she sent me a long message and ended everything. She blocked me without even facing me. After that, I went to Japan alone on a solo trip. We had planned to go there after marriage, so I thought the trip might help me mentally, but it didn’t.

Last week, I went to a Coldplay concert, and all my memories came rushing back. Listening to those songs in the car, I was literally crying. My cousins kept asking me, “What happened?” but they didn’t know anything about my relationship. I had hidden it from everyone because if anyone found out how much I had supported her financially, I would have been judged. At that time, I was completely drained.

Now, I feel broken and done with life. I won’t do anything stupid, but I know life will never be the same for me. I was eager to share this with someone, but the people I know would never understand what I’m going through.

I just came back from park played with some street dogs, I was alone and while there thinking about my life and decided to share here.

Thank you all for reading this.