Turns out I was not seeing angels and demons, I simply needed an antipsychotic

I grew up in the church, both in evangelical-type churches and pentecostal-type groups. I was always told that I had "spiritual gifts" like discernment and that I was to "dream dreams and see visions" and become a "prophet." Oh yeah I definitely experienced the horrifying visions and demons talking to me. Come to find out in my early twenties, post christian college, that I had bipolar disorder. My psychiatrist pointed out that I had an interesting symptom that occurred whenever I was severely manic or severely depressed; auditory and visual hallucinations. It took me a few years to put it all together that I was NOT actually seeing angels, I was NOT standing in front satan himself, I was NOT hearing words from god or jesus, I was fucking mentally ill and desperately needed medication. Obviously I was only prayed for and never taken to the doctor during these years.

After being on medication for about 5 years now and going to therapy, I can finally function normally and think more logically than I have ever been able to before. To all the current christians snooping around and reading this, my doctors and therapists did not encourage me to leave the faith. I did that myself willingly once I became stable enough and stopped having schizophrenic-type symptoms.

This is only my personal experience. I don't believe absolutely everyone in church needs medication, but the way my very obvious mental illness was exploited and abused for the church's gain is completely inexcusable and horrifying.

I hope that in sharing this story I can help others feel less alone. Especially my internet siblings who have struggled so deeply with mental illness as I have. Thanks for reading.