I need help !

My parents are not at all supportive of me being religious.. so two incidents happened 6 months apart from each other - firstly last year in june-july I was going to start my new academic year so had asked my mother if i can put up idols of god on my study table but I was denied stating its not good , you wont take care of it and stuff .mhm now i asked them to go to kumbhmela , because idk why i am really wanting to explore more spiritual experiences and find answers to many questions i have in my mind .. they again denied me to do so .. they said i cant go with them and they wont go with me at any cost huh ... whenever i try to explain them what kumbh actually is etc they are just telling me negative sides of it .. im so tired rn of all this idk what to do .. i prefer spiritual experiences because i literally have no one in my life to speak to talk to .. i willingly left my friends .. they were no better.. and i find peace in such experiences .. idk what to do at this point huh .. i push my parents to do pooja and stuff , but being a student i dont hold my life in my hands so i cant do anything at all .. i feel like crying sometimes idk why .. how and what all can I do at home in order to yk stay connected to god .. need genuine guidance..