I wish i wasn’t half black

I am Half japanese and half Tanzanian however, like most mixed people i was only raised with half of my culture, the black side. I hate it so much, I wish that I could go to Japan every summer instead of Tanzania, for those who don’t know, Tanzania is a low income country and i hate it, we go every year for the entire summer and i can’t take it anymore i wish we could just go to Japan, or frankly ANYWHERE else, being in a low income African country when i’m supposed to be on holiday is horrible and i hate it. This is probably me being spoiled or internalised racism but i don’t care and i wish i was fully Asian instead, i just need advice because i can’t take going there anymore.